...waktu saya untuk menikmati usia dengan kepala "2" ga sampe setaun lagi ..

yeaahh great.... i only have less than a year to use the number "2" as a start to describe my age.. however, i never claim to understand what's the true meaning of birthday wishes.. it's like a reminder saying, "hey.. remember.. today, you're getting old..!!" and closer to death (in an extreme point of view), hahah.. padahal tiap hari juga kita bertambah tua sehari. tiap jam juga bertambah tua walaupun cuman sejam.. hari ultah menjadi seperti sekedar pemaksaan buat saya untuk mengingat betapa banyak yang belum tercapai.. so what.. i can get there if i want to.. but what for..??

bahkan di usia ini pun saya masih takut untuk memutuskan untuk menjalani hidup yang membosankan.... whatever that means.. yup.. i'm still so afraid of a boring life... dan kepala saya masih tetap seperti benang kusut yang harus diurai satu per satu.. but do i want to? what if i enjoy this twist & turn of destiny.. makes your heart warmer, put a smile on your face.. it even helps you to get up early in the morning..!! bwahaha..

well, i guess it's just a question of faith .... and only time will tell..
but for sure, your age will never have the answer..

is this the kind of feeling everyone have?
it's.. like.. you're trapped.. between being who you are..
and being someone you're suppose to be..

dalam rangka menyambut hari jadi saya yang ke 29... heheheheh... menurut saya tulisan saya kok membosankan ya...

Ever asked yourself.. “what was the first song that I fell in love with?”

I was born on 1979, the year when Bee Gees’ “Too Much Heaven” hit the #1 chart on Billboard Magazine HOT 100 (but since I was still a baby,  I wasn’t aware of that song until a couple of years later), but my first experience with music, knocked me up when I was 4 years old (the year was 1983), and I strongly believe that it was the era for  Michael Jackson as “The King of Pop” with his phenomenal album “Thriller”. 

First Decade.. The 1980s!!

It was also the “rising-up” year for several Heavy Metal bands such as Poison, Slayer, Motley Crue and of course Metallica. At that same year, Bon Jovi and Red Hot Chili Peppers was formed.  Several years later my ears was pretty familiar with other bands such as Guns ‘n Roses, Van Halen, Tesla and Skid Row along with the band’s sexy vocalist Sebastian Bach!! It was also during the 80s that I have this habit of recording songs from Whitney Houston, Janet Jackson, Taylor Dayne, Wilson Philips and Idol jury Paula Abdul that was played on the radio, and tried my best to write the lyrics.. what an experience.. I soon fell in love with Jon Bon Jovi and the gank.. with their “You Give Love a Bad Name” hits..

Ooh.. the 80s.. One funny thing I remember was the fight I had with my big sister when we’re going to buy a cassette. My mom only gave us money to buy just one cassette, and my big sis decide it was going to be Bon Jovi’s Slippery When Wet, while me and my little sister insisted that we should buy New Kids On The Block..!! NKOTB was not so bad after all, I still remember the lyric of “Tonight” until now. My favorite member was the handsome Jordan Knight.

Me and my cousins once had a trip from Jakarta to Bali by car. Before we start the journey, the big sisters are preparing cassette for the trip. They take White Lion, Skid Row and Motley Crue. So during the trip, we all sing the songs from all three bands.  

That time on TV, only TVRI exist I think, we can only see the video clips after and before one show, whether it was The Cosby Show (I’m a big fans of Lisa Bonet..), The A-Team, Knight Rider, and and Highway to Heaven.. hehe.. While my mom never missed the edition of Dallas, and Dynasty..

Second Decade.. 1990s..!!

Then it comes the 1990s era. The era for another experience. The era of another phenomena.. This is when I entered the second decade of my life. I must say, this decade started when I was 11 years old, and ended when I was 21 years old.. A long journey.. from SMP to SMA and even early college years. I was still deeply in love with Guns n’ Roses. Their accoustic track “patience” has forced me to learn how to play the guitar.. learn how to whistle.. then came their double album “Use Your Illusion I and II” and then “The Spaghetti Incident” .. Not forgetting the movie “Young Guns” with Jon Bon Jovi singing all the soundtrack.. Damn, how I enjoy that album! Together with Warrant, Faith No More, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Aerosmith. And for the late 1990s, there was Third Eye Blind, Sepultura, Radiohead, Blink 182, and the era of Hip-Metal for Limp Bizkit, Korn, Save Ferris, Deftones,.. (must I go on..!!???)

And for the pop experience, this is also the era for Mariah Carey. Her hits such as Vision of Love, Love Takes Time, Hero.. Side by side with NKOTB’s biggest hit “Step By Step” and Mc Hammer with his big baggy pants.. Oh year of the white rapper.. how come I forgot? Vanilla Ice..!!??

after that, for me it seems like the heavy metal era is over and new kind of genre is coming to blow my ears.. And I suppose, our ears! It was the trio who bring us “Smells Like Teen Spirit” .. yep, it was Nirvana. But the world was shocked by terrible death of Freddy Mercury. Although a lot of things had been going on in the pop world with Kylie Minogue, Sinead O’Connor, Roxette, Celine Dion, Spice Girls,

But my interest in alternative music was when MTV launched their program “MTV Alternative Nation” and the album MTV Alternative Nation with several Britpop’s bands. This album is amazing and if we listened to it along with Alanis Morisette.. It’s a good combination to combat young love and broken heart, whatever that means.. hahaha…

it was a long time, you know.. from 11 to 21. I graduate from SMA on the age of 18 (on 1997). And on the same year, me and my friends created a band, and we played No Doubt, also Save Ferris, never imagined that SKA was going to be so popular at that time. We simply choose those both bands because our vocalist is a girl, and because we like their songs..

The Third Decade.. Entering the Millenium Era.. Not Yet Finished!!

I got this feeling, that I was not enough with just one band.. I accept the offer from a friend, to play Coal Chamber, System of A Down, and Deftones. Later on, during this era, I also accept another offer from a friend, to help them playing songs from Radiohead, and Coldplay. It was a bit mixed up and I don’t know how to stop.  

Avril Lavigne was big hit, while others like Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera are competing to one another. Linkin Park, Eminem, Beyonce.. and so many others also bring their luck during this era..

artikel ini ditulis pada bulan Agustus 2006.. a bit out-dated, i know.. and i'm trying not to just copy paste this article but i want to make it shorter, and more simple to understand.. sekalian belajar nulis.. hehe.. buat yg mau edisi lengkap, silahkan ke websitenya aja di:
http://www.rsi.sg/indonesian/imaji/view/20060803110000/1/.html

Meyakini Eksistensi Tuhan: Antara Hidayah dan Hasil Usaha..

Setelah IQ, yang digunakan untuk mengukur tingkat kecerdasan otak manusia, selanjutnya adalah EQ atau Emotional Quotient, yang lebih mementingkan aspek emosi dan bagaimana seseorang bisa memahami orang lain. Tetapi menurut Dana Zohar dan Ian Marshall, kecerdasan yang sebenarnya masih belum lengkap tanpa adanya Spiritual Quotient atau SQ yang dianggap sebagai “The Ultimate Intelligence”.. SQ meyakini adanya titik yang disebut "God Spot" di otak manusia. Titik ini akan bereaksi saat seseorang berfikir mengenai hal-hal yang bersifat spiritual, yaitu mengenai kekuatan lain di alam ini yang tidak dapat dijawab dengan ilmu pengetahuan.

Walaupun demikian, adanya titik ini tidak membuktikan bahwa semua orang memiliki keyakinan yang sama tentang Tuhan, tidak juga membuktikan bahwa Tuhan itu ada. Jika demikian, lalu apa manfaat SQ bagi kecerdasan seseorang, jika hanya mendatangkan pertanyaan seputar keberadaan Tuhan, tetapi tidak memberikan jalan untuk memperoleh jawaban mengenai eksistensi Tuhan?

Kenyataan inilah yang memicu ketertarikan Professor Dr. Abdul Munir Mulkhan, Guru Besar Universitas Islam Negeri Sunan Kalijaga Jogjakarta, untuk melanjutkan SQ dengan menciptakan "Makrifat Quotient". Yang maksud dengan Makrifat adalah jenjang pemahaman tertinggi tentang eksistensi atau keberadaan Tuhan. Prof. Mulkhan berpendapat bahwa "kalau spiritual quotient dilanjutkan lagi tanpa menolak keberadaan Tuhan, tanpa kukuh pada sekularisme, maka Islam punya kekayaan yang namanya makrifat."

Namun yang menjadi permasalahan adalah dua pendapat tentang konsep makrifat yang beredar di Indonesia, yang cukup membingungkan baginya (dan bagi saya juga..hehe).. Konsep pertama adalah makrifat sebagai suatu "hidayah" sementara konsep kedua adalah makrifat sebagai "hasil usaha" manusia.

Terinspirasi oleh penjelasan yang diperoleh dari Sri Bhagavan (tokoh terkemuka dari Oneness University di Chennai India), Prof. Mulkhan tidak menolak anggapan hadirnya makrifat sebagai hidayah, tapi ia juga meyakini bahwa kita sebagai manusia bisa berusaha untuk me-manage tindakan sedemikian rupa, sehingga secara rasional kita bisa memperoleh hidayah itu. Jadi bukan hanya semata-mata menunggu hidayah, melainkan menyongsong datangnya hidayah itu dengan jerih payah usaha kita sendiri.. melalui ibadah, berserah diri, dengan senantiasa mempelajari tanda-tanda kebesaran-Nya, dan mempelajari wahyu-Nya yang terangkum di kitab suci...

fyi.. gw nulis ini sambil berdiskusi by chat with a friend... about almost the same thing.. thanks for giving me answers!!

Goenawan Muhammad pernah menulis (sayangnya gw lupa dimana.. hehe) "..manusia bisa tersesat, tapi sejarah menunjukkan bahwa iman tak pernah jera justru ketika Tuhan tak jadi bagian dari  benda-benda yang terang... siapapun yang mengira bahwa ada jalan pintas dalam iman akan menemukan jalan buntu.."

tertarik dengan kalimat tersebut diatas.. seakan-akan bahwa manusia menemukan Tuhan, bukan di suasana terang (bahagia) tetapi justru didalam kegelapan, saat mereka mengalami keterpurukan, kesedihan, bahkan keputus-asaan... sinkron dengan kalimat selanjutnya yang meng-claim bahwa yang disebut iman tidak bisa ditemukan melalui jalan pintas, yang gw artiin bahwa iman seseorang diperoleh melalui berbagai "cobaan demi cobaan" dalam menjalankan hidup..

kalau benar begitu, lalu orang-orang yang hidupnya lurus-lurus saja alias tidak pernah sengsara, tidak akan beriman dan menemukan Tuhan? wow... that's not true!! menurut gw sih, kita menemukan Tuhan melalui kepasrahan yang teramat sangat tinggi... dan tingkat kepasrahan seperti itu biasanya hanya dirasakan oleh orang yang lagi kesusahan, yang lagi ketemu masalah berat, yang lagi mentok ama keputus-asaan mereka... dan mereka mengambil jalan yang tepat untuk curhat ama pencipta-Nya..

pada saat seperti itulah, biasanya kita memasrahkan keputusan kepada Sang Pencipta.. karena biar bagaimanapun juga, kita adalah ciptaan-Nya.. dan atas kehendak-Nya, segala masalah dapat terselesaikan dengan cara dan waktu yang sesuai dengan ketentuan-Nya.. it is easier said than done, actually.. karena sifat manusia di diri kita terkadang sulit untuk menerima kenyataan pahit yang terburai didepan mata, walaupun hati kecil kita bersuara bahwa itu ketentuan Tuhan, and we have to accept it.. dengan ikhlas..!!

lalu bagaimana selanjutnya..? setelah memasrahkan diri, sebagai manusia kita dapat berjuang melanjutkan hidup yang sudah diberikan Tuhan kepada kita.. we have to move on, tapi kali ini, perjalanan yang kita tempuh alangkah indahnya apabila diiringi dengan permintaan yang tulus kepada Sang Pencipta agar selalu diterangi oleh cahaya-Nya.. agar tidak tersesat ke perjalanan yang membawa kita kembali ke kegelapan dan keterpurukan.. karna yang namanya nafsu akan terus menerus digoda oleh setan, sehingga kedamaian dan ketenangan hati begitu mudah terusik..

all we have to do is ask...
and have faith that God will answer through so many ways..

Dari: http://pustakahikmah.multiply.com/journal

cuman buat mengingatkan saya.. bahwa tangga yang dimaksud disini sifatnya naik.. jadi, sesudah lolos dari tahapan pertama, selayaknya berusaha sebisa mungkin untuk tidak kembali ke anak tangga bagian bawah...

Meniti Tangga Kesenangan Dalam Hidup

..sesungguhnya kesenangan hidup ini dibuang sebanyak tiga kali...
(Syaikh Abdul Qadir Al-Jailani)

Pada mulanya, seorang hamba Allah berada dalam kegelapan kejahiliahannya dan dalam keadaan yang tidak tentu arah, ia bertindak sewenang-wenang dalam seluruh tindak-tanduk hidupnya dengan menuruti hawa nafsu kebinatangannya semata-mata, tanpa mau mengabdikan dirinya kepada Allah dan tanpa pegangan agama yang mengawal dirinya. Dalam keadaan seperti ini, Allah melihatnya dengan penuh kasih sayang. Oleh karena itu, Allah mengutus seorang penasihat kepadanya dari orang-orang yang termasuk dalam golongan manusia-manusia Tuhan yang juga seorang hamba Allah yang baik, dan satu penasihat lagi yang terdapat dalam dirinya sendiri. Kemudian, kedua penasihat ini mempengaruhi dirinya. Sehingga, hamba itu dapat melihat cacat yang ada pada dirinya seperti mengikuti hawa nafsu saja dan tidak mengikuti yang haq (benar). Dengan demikian, ia cenderung untuk mengikuti peraturan-peraturan atau hukum-hukum Allah di dalam semua tindak-tanduknya.

Kemudian hamba itu menjadi seorang yang berdiri tegak di dalam hukum-hukum Allah, keluar dari keadaannya yang jahiliah dan meninggalkan hal-hal yang haram dan meragukan. Hamba itu hanya mengambil perkara-perkara yang halal saja seperti makan, minum, bepergian, kawin dan lain sebagainya yang kesemuanya diperlukan untuk menjaga kesehatan dan kekuatan untuk patuh kepada Allah, asalkan ia menerima sepenuhnya apa yang diberikan Allah kepadanya dan tidak boleh melampaui batas serta tidak boleh keluar dari kehidupan dunia ini sebelum ia pergi mendapatkannya dan menyempurnakannya.

Maka berjalanlah ia di dalam hal-hal yang halal dalam seluruh keadaan hidupnya ini, sehingga ia mencapai peringkat kewalian (wilayah) dan masuk ke dalam golongan orang-orang yang membenarkan hakikat dan orang-orang pilihan Allah yang menghendaki hidup yang berdampingan dengan Allah SWT. Setelah itu, ia pun hanya berjalan di dalam perintah Allah saja, dan di dalam dirinya ia mendengar firman Allah yang maksudnya kurang lebih, "Buanglah dirimu sendiri dan marilah ke mari, buanglah kelezatan dan kemewahan duniawi dan makhluk, jika kamu menghendaki Allah. Buanglah dunia dan akhirat serta kosongkanlah diri dan segala-gala selain Allah. Merasa senanglah dengan keesaan Allah. Buanglah syirik dan bersikap ikhlaslah. Kemudian, masuklah ke dalam majelis ke-Tuhan-an dan mendekatlah kepada-Nya dengan bersujud dan menghinakan diri (dihadapkan-Nya) serta tidak lagi condong kepada hal-hal keduniaan, atau makhluk atau kemewahan hidup."

Apabila ia telah sampai kepada peringkat ini dan telah teguh di dalamnya, maka ia akan menerima pakaian kemuliaan dan kehormatan dari Allah, dan Allah akan melimpahkan nur dan berbagai karunia. Lalu dikatakan kepadanya, "Pergunakanlah rahmat dan nikmat-Ku, dan janganlah bersikap angkuh serta jangan pula membuang kehendak atau kemauan, karena menolak pemberian-Ku itu bisa memberatkan Aku dan memperkecil kekuasaan-Ku". Kemudian, ia pun diberi pakaian yang mulia dan terhormat itu, tanpa ia sendiri memainkan peranan di dalam perkara tersebut. Sebelum itu, ia diselimuti oleh kemauan hawa nafsunya sendiri saja, lalu dikatakanlah kepadanya, "Selimutilah dirimu dengan rahmat dan karunia Allah.

Jadi, bagi dia, ada empat peringkat di dalam mencapai kebahagiaan dan bagiannya. Peringkat pertama, ialah kehendak hawa nafsu kebinatangan semata dan ini adalah diharamkan. Peringkat kedua, ialah menuruti hukum dan undang-undang Allah, dan ini diperbolehkan. Peringkat ketiga adalah peringkat peringkat batin, dan ini adalah peringkat kewalian (wilayah) dan membuang hawa nafsu kebinatangan. Peringkat keempat adalah peringkat keridhaan dan karunia Ilahi, di sini lenyaplah kehendak dan maksud diri. Inilah peringkat Badaliyyat. Hamba itu masuk ke dalam majlis ke-Tuhan-an Yang Maha Tinggi, ia berserah bulat kepada Allah dan menuruti perbuatan Allah semata-mata. Inilah peringkat di mana ia terus mendapatkan ilmu Allah dan mempunyai sifat-sifat yang baik. Seorang hamba tidak boleh dikatakan benar dan baik, jika ia belum mencapai peringkat ini..

Ini sesuai dengan firman Allah yang maksudnya lebih kurang, "Sesungguhnya kawanku ialah Allah yang menurunkan Al-Qur'an dan Dia menolong orang-orang yang baik." Oleh karena itu, hamba yang telah mencapai peringkat keempat ini tidak lagi mempergunakan apa-apa yang memberikan manfaat kepada dirinya dan tidak pula menghindarkan apa-apa yang memberikan madharat kepada dirinya. Ia seperti bayi di pangkuan ibunya atau seperti mayat di tangan orang-orang yang sedang memandikannya. Ia hanya bergantung kepada qadha' dan qadar Allah semata-mata, menyerahkan pilihan kepada Allah tanpa berusaha mendahului apa-apa yang telah ditentukan Allah kepadanya. Ia kembali kepada Allah untuk melakukan apa saja karena-Nya. 

Ia tidak mempunyai apa-apa lagi. Kadang-kadang Allah memberinya kesusahan dan kadang-kadang memberinya kesenangan. Kadang-kadang ia kaya dan kadang-kadang ia miskin papa. Ia tidak mau memilih atau menginginkan suatu posisi tertentu atau ingin mempertukarkan posisi itu. Sebaliknya, ia ridha dan senang hati kepada apa pun yang diperbuat Allah terhadapnya. Inilah peringkat terakhir dalam pengembaraan kerohanian yang dicapai oleh para Abdal dan Aulia (kekasih Allah).

another "gue-banget" article... hhehehh..

truly absolutely bored!!!

Fighting Boredom in Workplace

IF THE thought of going back to your boring job had you pulling your hair out with frustration, you're not alone, and bosses need to sit up and take notice. Monotonous jobs with limited opportunities to shine are driving an increasing number of workers to distraction and costing employers dearly in lost productivity, experts say.

Psychologists have given the phenomenon a name – rust-out – to describe those who "waste away, unchallenged and uninspired" at their desks. I

Boredom Boom

Dr Mel Miller, director of Siggins Miller, a Brisbane-based organisational psychology consulting firm, says boredom in the workplace is booming. She says endless meetings, mind-numbing repetition, paperwork and office bureaucracy are largely to blame and could lead to poor performance, decreased job satisfaction, increased absenteeism and even failing health among workers.

Dr Miller said a person's attitude to work can also contribute to their dissatisfaction. "People prone to boredom tend to be less open to new experiences, less sociable, less agreeable, less organised and more willing to manipulate others," she said.

Over-Qualified Worker

Organisational psychologist Dr Cameron Newton, a senior researcher with the Queensland University of Technology, said many bored workers were university graduates over-qualified for their mundane jobs. "There might be a number of reasons people are working in jobs they're over-qualified for, including the fact that it might suit their lifestyle.

"But skill under-utilisation is something that will lead to job dissatisfaction and more perceptions of boredom," he said. The degree to which a person is suited to the job they are doing is also a contributing factor. "If you fit in with a company and issues arise, you're more likely to view them as challenges, whereas if you're not fitting in and something happens it's likely to make you stressed and unhappy, (and) it's well documented that stress is costly for businesses," Dr Newton said.

Experts say many workers are fed up with meetings and dealing with the bureaucracy of new working practices.

More Responsibility

Siggins Miller senior consultant Summer Armstrong suggested workplaces implement "boredom busting" practices. Ms Armstrong said the focus should be on creating less controlling environments, where staff were free to organise their own schedules and take breaks when they want.

"Allowing less experienced staff to step up to project management roles in areas of their interest and competence can help ensure new graduates are not de-skilled by rigid hierarchical structures and bureaucratic processes," she said. "Creating hierarchies of competence rather than just relying on seniority is important in the retention of highly qualified young workers."

Avoid Burnout 

Ms Armstrong said creating the right balance between happy workers and productivity required some effort and acknowledged that many people simply suffered from an information-overload which created "professional burnouts". "Professional burnout can be the result of either too much or too little stimulation in the workplace," she said.

"In a time of relatively high employment and keen competition for staff, if organisations want to attract and retain the best staff they have to be mindful of both extremes. "An optimal level of challenge, neither too high nor too low, is required for a job to engage attention."

Encourage Teamwork

Dr Newton recommends fostering a "team player" attitude among staff. "Being part of a team can help, especially if teams are created with a variety of different roles for people and you can spin the jobs around and give people a go at different roles," he said. "It will get them using different skills and keep them challenged."

Retain, Don't Retrench

Dr Newton said the early 1990s saw several of Australia's major banking and transport companies "turf hundreds of idle employees". "And in the '80s it was all about clearing out the dead wood," he said. "That's not the approach I would recommend. Employers should provide training for staff and work to keep people stimulated. By cutting out the dead wood you lose all of this organisational knowledge."

Dr Newton encouraged people returning to work after holidays to set goals for the professional year. "Set goals that will make it exciting for you to be at work, or more satisfying. Prepare a plan of attack so you don't get bored."

Source:
http://www.news.com.au/business/story/0,23636,23017858-5012428,00.html

5 Signs You Desperatetly Need a Hit of Happiness

If you’re thinking Omigod, that’s so me after reading any of these statements, you may be issue-matic.

1. The sight of a kissy-feely couple makes you physically ill.

2. The only time you’re in touch with Mother Nature is when you’re walking to your car.

3. When a coworker asks “Is somebody having a bad day?” you actually growl.

4. Your boyfriend gave you a new sweat suit for your birthday.

5. You blow off your girlfriends because you’re too busy… doing a whole lot of nothing.

source: http://www.cosmopolitan.com/you/advice/shortcuts-to-a-happy-life-6

there are ways to get happy, though.. whether it's to go out with friends or if you're not the "going-out" type, you can stay at home doing things you like. Both ways keep me off the insanity temptations, and I still don't understand why so many people always find it so damn difficult to be happy on their own...?? but I was feeling that way, once.. being alone is so frustrating, especially on weekends.. I went crazy if it's Saturday and I am stuck at home, alone and so busy of doing absolutely nothing.. Friends and the free-air kept me alive, i use to think that it's pretty depressive to stay at home.. hehe..

Why do people keep spending a lot of money to stay stress-free? such as went shopping for items they don't need, hanging out at some expensive place just get drunk and closer to stupidity.. while so many people always try to avoid their home, I can easily find my tranquilty just by staying there!

I don't always just stay there the whole weekend, though. I went out to shopping malls for groceries, and of course most importantly DVD hunting.. Sometimes do a bit sport activities, also tried several new places... but that stuff did not make me sick of staying home when I had no other alternatives.. Getting the house in its totally clean & neat condition, and then getting myself on that condition, and just sitting tight in front of my TV watch the DVDs I bpught, or put a pair of my walkman earphones and read books.. give me all the peacefulness i need.. or is it true that happiness is in us? in our head.. and not in the external things..?

is it only happening to me or does everyone ever experienced the same thing? in the bathroom, before sleeping, and mostly during the morning route to office and in the evening route from office to home, i keep having these conversations between me and myself.. yup.. i gave a question, and the "other" me is answering it.. but no.. i'm not those double-personality kind of people.. i'm pretty damn stick to one personality..

the issue we chat.. was about everything, from how to get myself a home, until why do good people have to suffer some terrible health problems.. sometimes i find a new theory.. new answers regarding those issues.. and through these conversation, sometimes i felt more alive.. more fresh.. but sometimes it does not bring me any conclusions.. which in turns, i completely forgot about it when i reached my destination...

isn't it strange.. those thoughts creepin' around my head... is this something that must be stopped? or are we all having the same chat with ourselves in a routine manner..

Sometimes I get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh myself to sleep
It's my lullaby

Sometimes I drive so fast
Just to feel the danger
I wanna scream
It makes me feel alive

Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breathe?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary, please

To walk within the lines
Would make my life so boring
I want to know that
I have been to the extreme

So knock me off my feet
Come on now give it to me
Anything to make me feel alive

Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breathe?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.

Let down your defences
Use no common sense
If you look you will see
that this world is a beautiful
accident, turibulent, succulent
opulent permanent, no way
I wanna taste it
Don't wanna waste it away

Sometimes I get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh myself to sleep
It's my lullaby

Is it enough?
Is it enough?
Is it enough to breathe?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please

Is it enough?
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.